On Grief & Love ~ Sacred Saturday #1

I started the New Year feeling deeply rested & inspired and was getting ready to write the first of what I’m planning to be a year of “Sacred Saturday” blog posts, videos and other juicy tidbits LAST week.

And then my beloved, amazing, incredible, gorgeous, sweet, fluffy dog, Buster aka Mr. Fluffy, suddenly died last Thursday (about 10 days ago now…)

Wednesday morning we went for a walk and he was his bouncy usual self.

Thursday morning we woke up to him in critical condition.

Turned out his chest had been slowly filling with fluid and he was full of tumours.

He was happy and appeared vibrant & healthy up until the day he died which I am so grateful for, and yet it was also terribly shocking – and, well, just terrible overall.

Have you ever felt like your heart was actually breaking with sorrow? Like you maybe possibly couldn’t actually go on?

I’ve lost a few very special dogs before and a few cats, and even a horse I loved dearly. And yes, I’ve lost people too – my grandfather who I loved very dearly actually passed over the same night my son was born and I still miss him.

But truly I’ve never lost anyone who I loved like that dog. He was just one of those beings that gets in your heart – and he was really a part of the community on the little island where I live.

I realize I’m very incredibly fortunate – I read about a woman last winter who lost both of her young sons on the same day.

I actually cannot imagine what it must have taken for her to actually keep breathing. Phenomenal.

The human spirit is so incredibly resilient. What we can survive.

Grief is a strange animal even when we can hold it in the healthiest most loving context with all the right elements of community, ceremony and support. It comes and goes – one moment you feel like life is good again – and then BAM!

It hits you like a Tsunami that never again will you see that beautiful one walking in front of you – never again will you be greeted by that Love when you walk through the door at the end of the day.

If you’ve ever lost anyone who you loved very deeply – animal or human – or maybe even a special place in nature – you know what I’m talking about.

But as Martin Prechtel, Wise Teacher of Ways Mostly Lost, author of many books including his latest, “The Smell of Rain on Dust,” says: “Grief and love are just two sides of the same coin, and when we really truly deeply love life, we are always devastated.”

And this is  a good thing…click here to read more…

How can we not be devastated by the incredible beauty of this life? And why is it that it is often in the non-culture of our North American society, it is seen as being a not-so-strong thing to shed tears – to cry for that which we love?

When we can finally come to learn that grief and love are actually one and the same thing – that to be devastated by the beauty of life is to never-ever forget...

…not even for a moment…

…that those who walk around and breathe & live around with us may at any moment draw their last breath…

and so Every. Single. Moment. Is. Sacred.

So it’s not just Sacred Saturdays, my dear sweet ones… It’s Sacred Moments. This moment. Now. Here.

Who do you love? (Think of people, is there old friends you need to reconnect with?)

What do you love? (Trees, birds, plants, sky…what brings you joy?)

What would you do this year if this was the last year of your life?

What would you do today if it was your last day on Earth?

Where do you need to slow down and really, truly connect in your life more?
I’d love to read your answers in the comments below.

And then…most importantly a lesson from Mr. Fluffy – have you wagged your tail yet today?

So. I am setting the intention to send you something sweet every Sacred Saturday morning for the rest of the year so feel free to hold me to that – and hey – whaddyawannaknow more of from me??

In love & light,

Josea Tamira Crossley

PS This one was actually an angel, so we always said, wearing a dog costume, and I know he’s still guarding my door and licking my face when I’m not looking. Love like that is hard to find – even in the spirit world. I’m truly blessed.

PSS When someone is grieving do you want to know what the best thing you can do is?

Stay with them. Quietly.
Just be there – present – and quiet.
No advice. Just listen and be there. 

Our biggest fuck-up as humans is probably always feeling like we have to have something to say. Grief knows EXACTLY what to do with calm, quiet presence.
So just be that. 

 

 

PSS
One more beautiful thing for you – this sweet quote from my dear dog-loving friend Jana (hey honey!)

“Big-hearted people who find that humans are careless with their love often turn to dogs to experience unconditional love. Dogs only break your heart once – when they die.”

xxoo

What are you’re experiences with grief and love? Please comment and share with me below I’d love to hear from you.